Breaking the Scale          

The USAW Nationals for 2015 are finally over and I couldn’t be happier.  I feel like I got my life back on track. For the last let’s say three months, only a few people in my life knew the struggles I was going through. Now I want to share my overwhelming experience with you.

Last year around this time is when I started getting serious about weightlifting. I weighed in at 125 pounds, yes I was considered a 58kg lifter at the time. Five months later for the American Open in 2014, I weighed in at 105 pounds. For those five months I was very diligent in tracking my macros. It was the easiest (and first) weight cut I have ever had.

After the AO, I began to do some strength training and continued competing in CrossFit. Training more meant eating more, and with those combined meant more gainz in my lifts and in body mass. I was not mad about it, until I had to begin cutting again in preps for Nationals.

Though my training was on point with my new coaches and team (brUTE Strength), I couldn’t shake off the weight as easily as I did before. I never properly reversed dieted like I should have after the AO and I was pissed at myself for it. Just about every day I would bitch and complain to my boyfriend about how hard it was going. Everyday I’d find excuses not to compete so I wouldn’t have to cut weight anymore. I started to obsess over the scale even. I’d wake up then weigh myself, take a poop and weight myself, eat breakfast and weight myself; it became very unhealthy very quickly. I was in total denial of course.

Ladies and gentlemen, I understand when you compete in weight classes, you pretty much have to weigh yourself daily. When you become obsessed like I did, it might be time to take a little break from it all. It has been exactly one week since I’ve weighed myself and I feel so much better. I have no clue how much I weigh this days and I couldn’t care less.

I’m not trying to scare you guys about the horrors of weight cutting. I mean like any woman, I can get a little crazy when dieting. However, I made this extra hard on myself. Okay so I didn’t reverse diet like I should have. That wasn’t the problem though. I put so much pressure on myself taking on too much at one time. I was traveling across the country for training and seminars, I even had a seminar held in the Caribbean! I went to California for two weeks to support my boyfriend at the CrossFit Games and visit family, I even went to the brUTE retreat literally one week before Nationals. If there is something you want, like kicking ass at Nationals and maybe even setting a new PR there, focus on that. I didn’t have my priorities straight which could be why I bombed. My weight fluctuated everyday due to all the traveling. I hate water cutting and boiling but those were things I had to do to finish making weight at Nationals, which could be another reason for my unsuccessful lifts that Friday morning.

I love a good competition, I do. However going on a diet to make a certain weight class does not thrill me, especially to 105 pounds. The last time I weighed 105 without dieting for it, I was at a traditional gym and all I did was the treadmill and elliptical with the occasional cables. I had zero muscle, I was “skinny fat”. I’m taking a break from competing in weightlifting as a 48kg. On October 3^rd, I will be at the Hookgrip Spartikiad but lifting as a 53kg (116 lbs.). Right now my focus is on my team training, which I absolutely love. Weightlifting is such an individualized sport, you start to get lonely- or at least I did when I was training at CrossFit Lindy by myself with my own programming. Now I’m on two teams (Harlem Horsemen and CF Island Park) and I’m enjoying training again. Remember guys, once the fun goes away, it might be time to walk away.

To the left I'm 105 pound and moody. The right was taken today. I have no clue how much I weigh but I'm happy to be eating and training hard, and not worrying about the damn scale.